Meet Your Intimacy Coaches

"There Is Another Way To Be A Man In The World"

I never felt like I fitted in when I was a kid. Actually that's true as an adult as well. At some point I realised I didn’t want to fit in, I didn’t like what I saw.

The cultural prescription of what it meant to be a man did not work for me. I see this in other men. The expectation of what a man is meant to be and do, all that it carries, and the pain that comes with it.

Often the anger and resentment we carry from this gets directed towards the women in our lives, particularly intimate partners, often hidden in our attitudes and beliefs, and for some more overtly and directly.

The truth is, women do not deserve this. Realising this led me to enquiry, what does it mean to be a man? What other ways can it be? How could I become a man who could evoke something different? How could I create the kind of relationship I intuited was possible?

My deepest intuition was, there was another way to be a man. A way that would allow a man to be loved, respected and worshipped, just for being who he is. Nothing else needs to happen. An effortless flow of love, allowing, and becoming.

That begged the question: How would I have to be in the world, so all that would naturally emerge from another? And was it possible? With many years of study and practice, here and abroad, I discovered yes, it was possible. And, that it is possible for any man. What I see in men is something different, I see so many men are lost. Uncertain of how to move forward in their life, not wanting to conform to old and destructive ways of being a man, and yet not wanting to be another sensitive new age guy.

Without a deep sense of purpose a man will often feel unfulfilled. He will then seek this fulfillment through the distractions of life. He will indulge in seeking out pleasure and fun, like social media, tv, toys, and the conveniences of modern life. Only to still feel something is missing. These attempts to seek satisfaction through recreational activities, work, and relationships, often leaves a man wondering why he still feels a sense of dissatisfaction lurking in his belly.

He may embark on a spiritual quest, he may give up his recreational activities only to replace them with spiritual rules and dogma about who he “should” be.

Ultimately this leads a man to being more diluted and lost, often feeling more helpless and depleted. Much of our cultural narrative about men has caused men to shut down their sexual desire and expression, capacity for clarity, leadership and direction, as well as his primal instincts. Instincts and capacities that when wielded skillfully would open his woman's heart, evoke love and allow him to provide a safe harbour for her.

A woman’s loving presence can inspire a man to live a much greater life than he could have on his own. Unfortunately, most men don’t know how to evoke this kind of love in a woman, and women don’t know how to truly inspire a man. And so we see transactional relationships that are full of pain, conflict and disappointment.

A consistent state of not being met, seen or heard. For both partners. This downward spiral leaves men struggling with mental health, high suicide rates, overwhelming hopelessness when dealing with women and relationships.

I know the pain of these places. I know how hopeless it can feel. I have lived these.

My gift is to guide men in discovering their own unique path of becoming a man. I want men to know they can be a deeply spiritual, free, and awake man who is also engaged with life. A life that includes meditation, a thriving career they love, making love with their woman, making a contribution in the world, whilst also going fishing, surfing, motorbike riding, 4WDriving or any other interest you may have. And a man who knows how to evoke the full range of love in his woman.

My dream is creating pathways for men to honour their strength and their sensitivity.

To create space for deep intimacy and space for solitude.

Men’s lives can be greatly transformed by working with a man who is deeply immersed and committed to the path.

There is a way to be the man you most desire to be, and for that to serve all of those around you.

With love,

Rod.